As most of us know by now, anxiety usually presents itself out of nowhere and with no warning ahead of time. It happened to me just like that. I remember having strange feeling’s for a couple of weeks, feeling’s I couldn’t even explain. I started trying to explain these feeling’s to a friend of mine at the time, she did what any good friend would do and started throwing out all the possibilities of what could be creating these strange feeling’s. I heard all thing’s from low blood sugar to thyroid malfunction’s but not once did I hear her say a thing about anxiety. I immediately made an doctor’s appointment the following day assuming that I had something seriously wrong with me. Unfortunately it was a one month wait and that meant I had 30 more days to continue experiencing these weird feeling’s. Well those feeling’s started appearing more and more frequent as the days went by. On the day of my doctor’s appointment, I explained to my doctor that I had never had these feeling’s before and that they came out of no where. I sat there desperately waiting to hear my diagnosis and how it could be cured. My doctor had left the room to go get paperwork. As she came back in, she handed me a packet of paperwork. I was told to fill it all out and a nurse would be back in to grab it when I was finished. I looked at the packet and the first thing I seen was “Screening For Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).” I grabbed my phone to look up what this was and how it could be cured. Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Severe, ongoing anxiety that interferes with daily activities. I had never heard of this before. So I looked up what “anxiety” was. Anxiety: A general term used for several disorders that cause nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worrying. These disorders affect how we feel and behave and can cause physical symptoms. This was all new to me but all I was worried about was how I could cure myself. I filled out the packet and returned it to the nurse. My doctor comes in and confirms that based on my screening I did have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was then screened for Clinical Depression. I was diagnosed with that as well. I asked what the cure to both of these illnesses was and that was when I realized the seriousness of mental health. My doctor explained everything to me in full. What was the cure? She recommended counselling and antidepressants for a cure but she stated that I may never be cured. I was told that I just had a mental illness and that it was something I would learn to live with. I don’t know about you all but that was as hopeless as I have ever felt. I started wondering why this would happen to me but nobody else. After scrolling the web, I realized that there were so many people who had the same diagnosis as me. I started viewing message boards and various mental health groups. It was like seeing a whole new miserable world that only some people are forced to live in. I attended counselling session’s that helped me in many ways. I am not cured and I never will be but that’s not what matters. What matters is that I am now able to carry on with my normal everyday activities that had once become a big struggle for me. I am now advocating for National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I am now destigmatizing mental illness which is a current ongoing battle in today’s world, a battle that you too can help win! Just because you have been diagnosed with a mental illness does not mean life is going to be horrible for you from now til the end of time. I am living proof that you can over come these mental tormenting, physically exhausting illnesses. Remember, you are stronger than the struggle!
You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.” -Ain Eineziz
Kylin | Mental Health 